How Long Does Love Stay in a Love Marriage- An Insight

love after love marriage
As I was passing from floor to escalator to platform, I found number of couples. Couples, away from crowd, discreetly searching moments to hug...

Yesterday, I was returning back home & it took me 2-3 Metro-change to home. As usual,  I boarded the first Metro. I, generally, take the seat with laptop/mobile chargers above it, recently changed from Normal to Senior Citizen reservation. But this change doesn’t actually affect me as I love to offer my seat to senior citizens, women or anyone in need.

I love it when some old man or woman, in search of a seat, passes by my seat & I suddenly stand & help them to sit comfortably on the seat. An inner happiness you know 🙂 .  I, as of some others, don’t act of fake sleep.

Love in Metro

So, that day as I took the seat, a teen-aged couple occupied the seat opposite to me. I didn’t want to look at them for long but something was making me smile+laugh. Well, it’s completely OK if you’re in love. Again, it’s completely OK if you’re travelling in a public transport. What making me laugh+smile was “their love”, which was getting more intimate. Their embracing, which was getting noticed by others. They were getting insanely close, everyone else was, like, smiling/laughing/irritating etc.

Related: 25 SIGNS TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE

I didn’t have any problem with all this because I’m aware of Gen-X fundas, as I belong to this Gen too. Main funda is- It’s my life, I am my Boss, F**k you! 

OK, no problem but still there is something that binds us to our traditions. If you respect her, If you respect your love, How could you ever let anyone else laugh/irritate/angry/stare at her just because of your acts?

They both were holding each other’s hands very tight, with a passion. Actually, there love was visible with the style how their hands were engaged. At a station, a woman entered the compartment & that guy gave her seat to that woman as he found that she wanted his seat. It gave me the sense of his good attitude. But, when he was standing up & coming in front of her sweetheart, he didn’t leave her hand in the procedure. It made me laugh.

How intense love was theirs!

love after love marriage

I removed my focus & put my headphones in my ear & played “Blue eyes hypnotize teri kardi hain mennu”. Metro stopped on some station & a Japanese girl entered in the compartment, she was beautiful. She got a seat on the main seats that was on left to me. I, again, started focusing on my playlist. In a couple of minutes, I noticed that a newly married couple was sitting in front of that Japanese girl. They were looking at her & smiling. May be because she was beautiful & she was in an Indian outfit.

The one who said that “Love is in the air”, he was completely wrong. I say “Love is in the Metro”.

Few minutes later, the woman stopped looking at that Japanese girl but that man didn’t. He was continuously enjoying her beauty with a smile on his face. I couldn’t control my laugh when I found that the guy was still looking at that girl & his wife was looking at his hubby. I got that his chapter was over that day 😀

It was the scene of a newly married couple! A fully diverted angle. So, that Metro showed me two phases of life. One was full of love “pre-marital life” & other was a “life after marriage”.

But my journey was not yet completed. I deboarded that Metro & took the way to other one. As I was passing from floor to escalator to platform, I found number of couples. Couples, away from crowd, discreetly searching moments to hug. Couples with hand-in-hand in public. A couple was fighting drastically. Another couple was standing in anger without talking to each other. In a scene, a girl was crying & in another a guy was throwing a gift he brought for his girlfriend.

Different situations, different couples & I went through the greatest number of love-birds in that single day. I was, like, where am I! I brought out my phone from my pocket to confirm that it’s a Valentine’s day but it wasn’t. The one who said that “Love is in the air”, he was completely wrong. I say “Love is in the Metro”.

And I got to know that something is really interesting in this emotion, called Love & thought to write something on it. A life before marriage & the life after marriage, especially love marriages.

I lecture on weekends to MBA students. There are my two fantastic colleagues, actually friends. One of them, the woman, is incredibly beautiful & sweet-natured. And the other one is a handsome & genius man. They both are happily married with their respective lovers. I got surprised & excited when I got to know this.

I learn much from both. They tell me about their life experiences & in this way I go with lectures & return back with lectures(more important).

Talking to them about Love Marriage, I found some interesting insights.

Related: WHAT A GIRL WANTS BUT NEVER SAYS

Life After Love Marriage

She has been married to her lover for 11 years. It’s a same caste marriage & yes a successful one. She had been in relationship with her lover for 5 years before they tied their marriage knot & here is what she told me-

It was hard to convince parents in the beginning but God was with me. I couldn’t explain how I was feeling that day when I was getting married. It was like a dream came true, I couldn’t be happier. But, I was so tensed and excited till the last moment that I was, like, unconscious. I knew what was happening, I was seeing everything but I was blank… simply blank! Didn’t ever think that it could happen & it happened at last.

And at one moment I acted as a dumb. It was the moment when we directly flew to Masoori & my lover-turned-husband asked me about what’s next. I, without acknowledging where I was, said, “Food” & he laughed. I didn’t have anything in last 24 hours due to that tension & excitement. I ate my heart out & then I was smiling with tears in my eyes. I was the happiest woman on this earth. This is the feeling which lovers dream for. This is the moment which makes the love flourish every moment for the remaining whole life. To have the one in your life, you were dreaming of, is like a dream itself. And, I was in that dream. I was on the ninth cloud.

Before marriage, we kept talking to each other for hours. We were too passionate about each other. We loved to walk hand-in-hand. We desperately wait for the moment we could see each other. There was an excitement in every moment those days. And now, after 11 years of marriage, it’s not same. Though we’re having no problems but still I think love is not there. I care for him, I wait for him to come home, I take care of her meals & other stuffs.

So, care is there but I don’t find the love here. That passion has disappeared with time. Now, we can’t talk to each other for more than 5 minutes. We, actually, don’t have any topic to talk about. We have kids, we both love them & care for them but we both are not in love. We are in a relationship that’s going on because it’s tradition but love is really not there.  I get irritate sometimes, we don’t talk for couple of days in a row. Then we talk, we bother listening to each other. But yes, I admit, love is not there. I wish I could rewind my life back to those 5 years!

It was her story.

love after marriage

Then I turned to the geek. He had been in a 6 years long relationship with her lover before they tied the knot. It was an inter-caste marriage.  A lot of family issues & at last they tied knot with partial conformance from few family members. It’s been 2 years since they got married.

Very practical & technical guy he is. According to him-

I wanted to marry her & I did that. I was sure of everything, though many troubles came in our way to be one, would be normal. My in-laws didn’t accept me & were in search of a chance to get their daughter back with them. But everything is normal now.

We both were pursuing MBA from same college & we were determined to take our love to the next level. Because I am a technical person, I know how to tackle adverse situation technically. And yes I tackled them.

The life pre & post-marriage is very different. Before marriage we wished to see each other when we get time & now we see each other because we both watch “Bigg Boss”. Bigg Boss is the reason we sit together. Now we don’t want to be with each other for whole day. The more the merrier turns into the less the better. We don’t have topics to talk but we have lots of issues to argue.

According to me love marriage is better because, in that, you are aware of the behaviour of your partner in most of the situations & can control the situation before it gets out of hands. But, yes.. Love becomes a simple word.

Related: PROPOSING A GIRL AND A BUSINESS STARTUP– WHAT’S SAME??

So, it’s all about love marriages. Whenever I lecture, I tell my students that the concept of Product life cycle is actually a “Gyaan of Geeta- Jo aaya hai wo jaega”. It’s that simple.  

 

love in love marriage  

Adjust the phases according to you in this life cycle & it’d fit on every aspect of life. 

The love in love marriages stays or left from back-door I don’t know. And if care is there then I think it is actually that love. Things change with time, situations change with time & so should you. 

The most common complaint of a girl to his guy is- “You don’t love me now. You did that before, you did this before & a long list of expectations.” I think it’s little tough. Before marriage, you don’t think about anything else of your partner. You focus fully on her. You talk to her, to wait for her, you do that & this.. etc. because you are passionate about her. You want to live the life at fullest because of a risk to lose her & that risk varies differently.

[quote]Once you are married. She’s all yours but then you have a lot of responsibilities. You are not trying to get her now because she is all yours. You need to focus on other things to let the life run smoothly. And then focus changes, priorities change.[/quote]

This is life. And I remember someone told me that- Marriage is like a boat, a boat with a hole. Either it’s a love-marriage boat or it’s an arranged marriage boat, both are there to sink you. Choose the one which can give you the company of your loved one. It’d sink too, but you will be too happy at some moments & those moments will let you survive in bad times.

Now what do you think about it?

 

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